Top Surgery » Resources » Videos
I Never Wanted These Scars: Blake’s Top Surgery Journey
For Blake, the road to Top Surgery was nearly a decade in the making. A transgender man who began transitioning in high school, he had long dreamed of living comfortably in his own skin, free from the emotional and physical weight of chest binding. In “I Never Wanted These Scars”, part of the realdrseattle series, Blake opens up about his journey from the day before surgery through two months of recovery with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Javad Sajan.
Watch the Full Story
Follow Blake’s entire Top Surgery experience in the realdrseattle® series, available at realdrseattle.tv.
Blake started chest binding in 2013, starting with makeshift methods like duct tape and ACE bandages before eventually switching to commercial binders. Still, the discomfort never went away. He reflects on how deeply binding shaped his everyday experience: “I don’t even really know what a T-shirt feels like comfortably without a binder on.”
After years of researching Top Surgery surgeons, Blake discovered Dr. Sajan through Facebook groups where other trans patients shared their Top Surgery results. He quickly booked a consultation for December 2019. The moment it ended, everything shifted. “That was the ‘aha’ moment,” he recalls. “That this is what I need.”
On surgery day, Dr. Sajan walks Blake through the process: marking the chest, discussing risk factors, and detailing the masculinization procedure. His surgical plan is to use the Double Incision method of Top Surgery, including reconstructed nipples using free nipple grafts. “One of my goals with the surgery is to create a chest that Blake is proud of… and feel proud of who he is,” Dr. Sajan explains.
The day after surgery, Blake is already noticing a difference. The binder is gone. There’s some tightness, but not the kind of pain he expected. His relief is immediate and emotional.
At the first post-op appointment three days later, Blake sees his chest for the first time. Despite swelling, the shape and contour are already taking form. The placement of the grafted nipples looks natural. He’s visibly moved, overwhelmed by seeing his body finally reflect his identity.
By day seven, he returns to have the bolsters that cover the nipples removed. Healing is on track, and Dr. Sajan is pleased with the results. Each appointment brings more confidence, less discomfort, and a sense of wholeness that had long been missing.
Nearly two months after surgery, Blake is beginning to reclaim his joy. He’s swimming again. Riding his horse. Working out without restriction. All activities he once avoided due to the pain or hassle of binding.
“I can finally love swimming in summer again… I hated that for five, six years.”
Still, Blake admits that the scars remain a source of complex emotion, though their meaning is shifting with time and healing.
Was It All Worth It?
Blake’s story is one of courage, vulnerability and transformation. From emotional preparation to post-op milestones, his journey is a powerful reminder of how gender-affirming care changes lives. The impact, he notes, has been nothing short of profound: “It made a huge impact on my happiness.”
And that’s what gender-affirming surgery is ultimately about—helping people live more fully, more freely, as their true selves.